Who Am I?

I have been struggling with a dilemma for the past few weeks that weighs heavily on me. The hardest parts of it, for me, are the assumptions, false accusations and the moral implications being applied to my person by someone who does not know me.

When this dilemma presented itself I consulted with my husband, a few friends and a few fellow professionals (since the issue pertains to my business). I received a variety of responses of which I could see both sides. Despite knowing that I had not intentionally set out to create this problem, nor do I really see the issue presented as being an issue, it bothers me that someone thinks I had done this thing on purpose and that I was caught in the “act” of the wrongdoing.

I readily admit that I am far from perfection (it’s actually a joke to even write “I” and “perfection” in the same sentence) and am often sticking my foot in my mouth since I am an individual whose emotions all to quickly get to my mouth before my brain does. However, I do try very hard to be an honest person, despite my other shortcomings, and in this case did not purposely set out to do what I am accused of doing. In fact the truth of the matter is that what happened was quite the opposite. Last year I spent about 9 months contemplating a change in to my business. I researched what I wanted (because of the investment involved) and looked to my local competitors to ensure I wasn’t copying someone else’s idea. Unfortunately, despite my due diligence, my area is saturated with others in my line of work and it is impossible to see everyones business.

Legally there is no a case of wrongdoing and morally I know there is no case of wrongdoing, so then why do I feel guilty? Why do I care what some unknown person thinks of me especially when I’ve done no wrong?

What I’ve chosen to do is not to engage in a reactionary way of being defensive, overly explaining myself or “my side of the story” (which I tend to do) because it will only lead to higher emotions and it will definitely not bring us to a resolution. I’ve replied that I would consider the matter but made no promises beyond.

Sometimes life throws you a twist and it is at those moments that you have to decide who you are and respond accordingly. Often I have to rant for a bit but then after I take some deep breaths, sit down and think about my being a daughter of God and how He would want me to respond. I am thankful He is there to guide me each step of the way and that with His help I am a better person. It doesn't take the hurt feelings or pain away but it does give me a sense of relief to know that He knows the truth and that does comfort me.

Oh Boyo & Beeb

As soon as Mr. B stepped off the bus this afternoon I knew he was sick. His watery eyes, puffy red lids and sour expression clued me in the most but then as he dragged his feet toward me I could hear his earnest sniffles as he battled nasal mucus.

Despite his cheery disposition (total sarcasm there if you couldn't tell) I took his temperature (normal) and fed him a snack and then started one of my favorite kid movies, The Neverending Story, for him to watch. Beeb joined us on the couch as we were all nicely cocooned inside our blankets.

20 minutes into the movie Mr. B was sleeping. When I tried to carry him off the couch to his room he woke up protesting and insisted he wasn't sleeping. Here is Mr. B not sleeping at 4:30pm:



Poor kid! He is rarely ever sick and I hate to see him so lifeless; very untypical of him.

On another note ultra sneaky Beeb (there's that darn sarcasm again) greeted me in the house after school (she ran ahead of Mr. B and I) with strict instructions not to go into her backpack because she already took everything out of it. I glanced at her bulging backpack and questioned her motives, "So what's in your backpack then?" "Mom, can I please please please bring a stuffed animal on the bus? Please!", she pleaded.

Beeb is, despite having a super sneaky brother, not at all sneaky. Let me reiterate that, Beeb is not sneaky at all. Silly girl!

Fish Free Once Again

#2 bit the dust over the weekend. We are officially fish free once again with the empty fish bowl (still filled with water) acting as a stark reminder why we should never get another fish again.

Enough said.

One Down, One To Go

Goldfish #1 is dead (Beeb's of course!) - long live #2! (we'll see)

This has become such a normal occurrence that this is what happened when I broke the news to Beeb on the way to swim lessons this morning.

Me: "By the way Beeb your goldfish died yesterday."

Short pause.

Beeb: "Can I get a new one?"

No crying, sobbing . . . nothing.

My sentiments: Stupid fish.

And the winner is . . .

Us!

Last Thursday the kiddo's elementary school hosted a "Math Night" with lots of fun math games and a raffle. Beeb and I put our heads together to try to estimate how many Jolly Ranchers were in a clear container. Her guess, 74, to which I added 200 and put her name on the entry sheet. We then headed off to the cafeteria where I had a good time quizzing Beeb on her math while Mr. B dragged AH around the school (avoiding math).

At the end of the evening there were a series of drawings for "prizes". Mr. B was anxious to win and was highly disappointed when his name wasn't called for the first two drawings. Then with the third drawing his name came loud and clear over the school loud speaker and Mr. B immediately became very shy, hiding behind me and making me go with him to the office to pick up his prize (a goldfish - great, a new pet to kill - obviously I am still damaged from last years goldfish fiasco's).

A few minutes later Beeb and I stood in the hall as more names were called when low-and-behold AH's name came over the loud speaker. Beeb immediately started whaling, "I'm never going to win!" and I immediately reassured her that daddy would giver her his fish!

After securing Beeb's new pet we gave our neighbor the rest of our raffle tickets with the instructions that should our name be drawn again her son could have the reward. Little did I know (until I got home and listened to our messages) that indeed our name did come up again but not for the raffle; alas, Beeb and I guesstimated the correct amount of Jolly Ranchers. Oh joy, just what we needed - 274(ish) Jolly Ranchers.

I called our neighbor back and told her we'd pick up the candy but please please allow her son to take a giant handful (or 6) out of it!

Does Apple = Geek?

A few weeks ago my precious iPod Shuffle was injured when Mr. B threw it on the ground during a tantrum. Afterward I couldn't get it to play and AH suggested I take it to the Apple store to see if they could fix it. Normally I am not a sentimental type when it comes to materialistic things, however, I adore my Shuffle and hoped it could be repaired. A few years ago AH gave it to me as a gift for Mother's Day and had it inscribed with our household mantra:

(click to view larger)

On Tuesday I made the dreaded trip to the "mall" where the nearest Apple store is located. I have never been in the Apple store before since I own a PC and have only ever found Mac's to be utterly confusing (I guess my previous years at MS were a perfect match for me). Actually when I told AH I wanted the Shuffle he tried to talk me into the Zune but I use the Shuffle during exercising (in theory) and thought the size and weight of the Zune would be hinder some. Regardless, the experience of the Apple store is what I am here to discuss and discuss I must.

Have you seen the sitcom "Big Bang Theory"? If you have you'll know exactly what I am talking about when I say that the stereotypical geeks all work at this particular Apple store. Yes I know it is terrible to stereotype people and I often visibly cringe when I hear people do it HOWEVER, there is no way around it, the employees at this store were the epitome of the Hollywood definition of "geek":



Only my "geeks" also had man-boobs, greasy hair and a paunch no matter their age or gender. I had a hard time not openly staring, I was horrible. I tried to politely divert my eyes but with so many employees working in such a small space is was nearly impossible.

While I gawked I realized I too was being stared at and not for my good looks or keen "mom" fashion statement of sweatshirt and jeans. Instead a few customers were trying hard not to stare at my feet while staring at my feet trying to figure out what I had on them. Can you guess? My Vibram Five Fingers of course!

Hmmm, who's the geek now? :-)

P.S. - I had to get a new Shuffle. :-( Though the new one is Turquoise!

A Decade in Review

Ten years ago on New Years Eve (remember Y2K?) we (AH’s family and I) were trapped on an Argosy boat in the Puget Sound ringing in the end of century with a mass amount of friends (AH’s parents friends). The event did not have enough seats or food and we were counting the minutes until we returned to the dock. Neither AH or his Dad do well with crowds or late at night so why we went in the first place I am not sure – ah the naivety of newlyweds.

As I look back at the last decade I am completely amazed by what AH and I have accomplished. Much of the time seemed to “fly by” and yet other parts seemed like it happened eons ago. Often I think we should be farther ahead than where we currently are but then looking upon this list I am amazed by all the goals we have achieved in such a short amount of time. I tell you, time plays tricks on your mind!
Here is a summary of our adventures (as best as I can remember):

• 2 Homes: Condo (stayed just 14 months) then a fixer-upper house
• Jobs: I’ll just say that between the two of us there have been many & started one business
• Remodeled house (on going): Major addition, bathrooms, kitchen, landscaping, etc. . . more to come
• 10 cars/trucks (in the order appearance): Subaru Impreza, Ford Ranger, Ford Escort, Ford Ranger, Mazda B2600, Mazda 626, Kia Sedona, Kia Sorento, Ford F-150 and Dodge Ram 1500 (plus a couple of motorcycles)
• Vacations: Japan & Thailand (me), Mexico, Hawaii, many misc trips to Priest Lake, the ocean, Utah, California, Oregon, Montana, and Canada.
• Adopted Mr. B, awesome!
• FINALLY had a viable pregnancy = Beeb
• AH almost went to grad school
• Church Callings (AH & Myself): EQ presidency (twice), Finance Clerk, Primary Teachers, Sunday School Teacher (to teenagers), Scouts, YW presidency (twice), Enrichment Leader, RS presidency, Achievement Day Girls – I think that’s all of them, maybe.
• Family Marriages: 2 - AH’s sister & my brother (not to each other)
• Family Babies: 8 new nieces/nephews
• Family Deaths: 2 grandparents (AH and I both lost our grandmothers in the same month) and 1 aunt

I’ve heard a few people say that they hope this decade is better than the last one, but aside from all the political turmoil (which is always going on), wars (always going on), financial crisis (from people being stupid... which is always going on), etc., aside from these things my decade ROCKED! Even with our challenges we have grown so much and I know we have truly been blessed. AH and I have new goals for the next decade (hopefully far fewer cars!) and I look forward to seeing what we are able to accomplish.

Happy New Year!