TRON

When I was a little girl in elementary school my brother would sometimes take me to our neighborhood corner market, aptly named The Pink Store with it's pink exterior, to play video games. I remember watching him play Tron and wishing I could play it was well as he could.



When the original movie came out I thought it was amazing and watched it repeatedly. Bruce Boxlietner was at the height of his popularity with his role in Tron (1982) and then Scarecrow and Mrs. King (1983). (My mom thought he and Gil Gerard (Buck Rogers) were quite the hotties so we had to watch these shows each week.)

Today I got an invitation to the premiere of the new Tron. I invited AH to come along but now am wondering if that was the right decision. AH has not shown that he has the love of Tron necessary to appreciate or pick apart the new Tron since he hasn't seen the original movie (seriously neglected childhood). He has a week to brush up on his Tron trivia or suffer the wrath of his wife.

A Greater Love

This week my good friend had her much anticipated baby placed with her after the baby's birth a few days ago. The experience has brought back adoption memories of my own son and has me recognizing how each story is unique and special.

In my friends case I have been able to appreciate the adoption from a different perspective than my own experience. The birth mother selected my friend (and her family) very early on in her pregnancy. She also lives locally and the entire process has been very "open", meaning they have had regular contact with each other, know full names, and developed a friendship. Our adoption process was closed - no last names or other personal information was divulged, though we did exchange letters and pictures after placement through our caseworker.

During the months of her pregnancy birth mom (BM) and my friend got to know each other. My friend would invite BM to participate in their family activities and she grew to love this special BM. I know my friend has had the utmost concern for BM and has done everything she could to help ease the weight of this decision for her. Her love for this young woman is strong and sincere.

A few weeks ago I attended a baby shower for my friend. It was a beautiful evening and I was so thankful to have the opportunity to meet the BM and her mother who both attended. I'll admit it was a bit awkward at times. Not wanting to say anything inappropriate was at the forefront of my mind and yet there was a strong Spirit present there that evening.

That night I realized how I missed out on the experience of really getting to know our own birth parents. Our adoption happened so quickly that our only meeting with them lasted about an hour, during placement, and then they were gone. We never really got to know them at all. I'll admit I am a bit envious that my friend has had the opportunity to develop a loving relationship with her BM.

I also realized that though you can imagine how hard such a selfless sacrifice it is (making the best choice for your child and not an emotional choice for yourself), you can't fully comprehend it. Of course I tried to understand this sacrifice during our own adoption but sitting across from my friend's BM, with her protruding belly and that uncomfortable 8 months pregnant look on her face, I realized I had no comprehension at all. I cannot even begin to fathom the strength it takes, though a new understanding of it certainly hit me quite forcefully. My heart implored for her and I prayed that she would stay strong and know peace with her decision.

My friend's baby was born after a hard delivery for BM. There were a few extra days needed in the hospital for recovery. Each day there was an immense anticipation of placement only to have it delayed repeatedly as medical issues were addressed. When placement finally arrived my friend was very excited over being able to take the baby home and yet her heart yearned to comfort BM whom she could see was struggling.

I think it feels a bit odd – suddenly having a new baby without all the physical labor of it. In my experience once the birth parents left it was very quiet, very strange to have this baby that I did not carry or deliver suddenly in my arms . . . forever. AH and I were a bit dumbstruck as to what to do. I had so many questions: Is he really mine? Can I really take him home and I don’t have to give him back? Can I really love him without worry that he’ll be taken away? How is birth mom coping? Is she at peace with her decision? How come it feels a little like I’ve stolen someone’s baby and when will that feeling go away?

For me the adoption process focused so much on the birth parents (specifically BM) that nobody ever really explained how it would feel for the adoptive parents. I was completely unprepared for the emotional turmoil of it. I didn’t actually find complete solace until we received a letter from the birthparents some 5 months later. The letter gushed of the sweet pictures we’d sent, the cute outfits he wore, and the joy that they knew he was bringing us. It was only after this letter that I was fully able to, in my heart, mind and soul, know that he was mine. I didn’t realize until then that I had been holding back a bit emotionally until I got her approval and knew that she was truly okay with her decision and I didn’t have to worry about her anymore.

Adoption is a case of greater love and for that my family and that of my friend are truly blessed.

A Thanksgiving Tangle

Our Thanksgiving feast for 12 turned into a feast for 4 due to the inclement weather (snow) making it impossible for my family to travel. I decided to continue with the planned menu and set out snack foods mid-morning, served a full Thanksgiving meal (we have days and days of leftovers) at 3:30pm, and promptly went to sleep following dinner for three hours. Needless to say I was not going to go to bed early and took this as a sign that I should go out at 11:30pm and hit the "Black Friday" sales in our area.

I returned home at 6:30am pleased with my purchases, the deals offered and have nearly all our Christmas shopping completed. AH and I decided not to do gifts to each other since we are getting a new built-in entertainment system this month as well as carpeting (finally!) for the family room, stairs and misc other rooms that need it. I am so delighted to be completing this final big project that I may glow for months once it is done.

After being snowed in at home for days (cabin fever) I took the kids to see Tangled on Friday afternoon (after sleeping-in until 12pm) leaving AH in a quiet house for a few hours. As we arrived at the theater the line was very long. A little worried I talked with the kids about our alternative plan should the show be sold out. While waiting in line Mr. B was getting very anxious that we might not get in and so he turned away, folded his arms and said a prayer (so cute!). When he was done he turned back to me and said, "Mom, I said a prayer asking that we'll be able to get in." After paying for our tickets (and yes it was almost sold out) Mr. B delighted that his prayer was answered even though we had to sit one row back from the very front of the screen.

Frugality

AH is frugal, I am not. Merging our finances was quite the adjustment when we got married. One thing that I always love and appreciate about AH is his willingness to compromise. In a financial sense this meant that I tightened the belt and he let his out, I’ve watched my spending and he has been more willing to part with funds so long as we achieve our financial goals. These adjustments did not happen overnight.

Are we the most frugal family? Not even close. I still battle the urge to splurge and at times make purchases of non-essentials (way way non-essential) only later to have feelings of remorse when I get home and the occasional return of item(s). AH has usually been the rock of reason and, to the annoyance of the marketing industry, does not fall into the lavishly fancy marketing print, radio or TV ploys. A few years ago one luxury car manufacturer had a TV ad with the tag line of “Don’t you deserve it?” – AH’s reply was, “Yeah right, I deserve to have $60,000 in debt.”

However, we all have our Achilles heel; an area of weakness when it comes to needs vs. wants or desires. For AH that weakness has been the dream of owning a nice 4x4 truck. For 9 years he drove an older model Mazda pick-up that was gifted to him by his dad. It was a good little truck that met our needs without depleting our wallet. When the Mazda reach 19 years old and needed some repairs we decided it was time for AH to have a new vehicle. At the time gas was exceptionally high, trucks were not moving off dealer’s lots and amazing deals were to be had. AH made one of those amazing deals and his dream was realized. . . sort of.

As time went on AH had to leave his vanpool and I could hear the ache in his wallet every time he had to put gas into the truck. He would often come home lamenting about the cost of owning such a vehicle and yet loving it at the same time – the inner turmoil was fierce. Last weekend AH came out of his truck coma for good. He called me with the news of wanting to buy a Ford Fiesta – I was not pleased but I was open to the discussion. Unlike AH I don’t look at my vehicle as just a means of transportation, I actually do care about what I drive though I keep it within reason for AH’s sake (see there’s that compromise thing that we do).

AH worked up an elaborate two page spreadsheet comparing different vehicles to the truck. We were definitely looking for a more fuel efficient car, yet it had to roomy enough for our family and groceries, and it had to be relatively inexpensive. I had planned to make my next purchase a VW Jetta TDI. They get exceptional gas mileage (40+ mpg), are very roomy and are priced reasonably – but when we looked at the numbers the cost of the Jetta didn’t measure up. This resulted in more discussion, more spreadsheet comparisons and more stress for AH.

The other day I decided to be exceptionally mean to AH and I threw out the idea of a foreign Hybrid. I was teasing him because I know that AH would never buy an expensive Honda or Toyota (he likes to buy American “ad” cars). Never say “never”. AH did his research, compared costs and came back to me with the idea of buying a Toyota Prius. I fell out of my chair – okay, not literally but figuratively in my brain. This is so not typical of AH. He found a few used ones in our area and in our price and today after dropping the kiddo’s off at school we high tailed it to the dealership.

We went home with a new to us 2008 Prius.




We also went home with the knowledge that we will be saving $2000 per year in gas alone, as well as some additional savings as a result of this vehicle exchange.

AH is happy and his frugal soul is at peace once again. . .



I did catch him looking at used Ford Rangers on Craig’s list this evening.

Don't Mess With A 7 Year Old

Mr. B's behavior has been struggling this week due to the time change (less sleep - going to bed later and still getting up at usual time), a bad cold, and all the Halloween sugar in his system. During dinner he was repeatedly asked stop making a specific gross sound and when he failed to comply he received the consequence of losing computer play time for the evening. It wasn't well received. . . he had a complete meltdown that was a magnitude 9.0 (did you feel it?). The shear level of it told me he was due for an early bedtime to help him recuperate from the above listed items.

After getting him calmed down and settled into bed he and I enjoyed a long snuggle wherein he professed his love for his mother repeatedly (of course) and then rolled over and promptly went to sleep (poor guy!).

As usually AH checked in on the kiddo's just before he went off to bed. He reported to me that while he was adjusting Mr. B's covers he stirred a bit, looked at AH and called out "Liar!" before rolling back over and to sleep again.

I am glad to know who Mr. B associates his consequences with even when I am the one who issues them.

Oh Halloween, Oh Halloween . . . How I Hate All The Candy!

Well our neighborhood lived up (actually exceeded) our candy expectations for the year. As usual people who live in our small neighborhood stocked up on all the best goodies with the hope that a flood of kids would come through, and yet if things went like they did at our house they only had to get out of the recliner twice the entire evening.

Due to the low numbers each neighbor is thrilled when that door knock finally does come, and as they stare at the giant bowl of full sized candy bars and all the possible left overs they don't want to have they ultimately drown the poor kids in sugary sweetness solidified.

At one point in the 45 minute walk around the block Beeb begged to be done. Her candy bucket was too heavy and over flowing, causing her to stop repeatedly to pick up the candy that was falling out. I don't know why but I encouraged her to endure until we completed the loop and now I have to deal with the aftermath of not actually allowing her (or her brother) even a fraction of it and the temptation all that chocolate in the house presents to me (me = no willpower). Looking back now I see that I must have done it for the neighbors, they have come to rely upon our annual visit (obviously, why else would they buy 30 jumbo sized candy bars!).

Yep you're seeing correctly, we have a neighbor who actually gives out 8 packs of candy bars to each trick-or-treater. The kids insist on visiting their house every year above all other houses!








In the end AH (always the math geek when it comes to candy collecting economy) figured out that based on the number of full size candy bars alone, as compared to our friends who live in planned communities where mini sized candy is doled out sparingly and to ensure there is enough for the swarms who really do come to their doors, that it was the equivalent of going to 26 additional homes. Nice - all the fat with half the work!

Playing The Guilt Card

Tonight Beeb talked AH into letter her sleep in the guess bedroom. An hour after tucking her in it was very quiet - too quiet. Beeb is our little night owl and often stays up playing for an hour or more after we tuck her in. The lack of sound tonight had me hoping I would find her sleeping but instead I found her watching TV with the sound muted! Smart Beeb. :-)

As I turned off the TV and tucked her in again she said to me, "Are you sleeping in here tonight?"

I laughed and replied, "No. Do I need to?"

"I might turn the TV back on," she informed me.

Ah the perfect moment for a dramatic pause as I looked into her eyes.

"Can't I trust you?" I asked innocently.

"Ooohhh!" she said in defeat.



UPDATE: With the TV option removed this is how I found Beeb after she finally fell asleep. She had snuck out into the hall, grabbed the library book basket and read to her hearts delight.

Oh I Know. . .

One of those great parenting pleasure is knowing how to snap your child out of a "mood" when nothing else and no one else can. For Mr. B it means that I become "Kissy Mom" and chase him around the house, grabbing him and smothering him with kisses.

It works every time!

Inspiring Quote

"Life is too short to be frustrated for having to live it." - Emily H. 9.19.10

Play List

I am rocking out to my "editing" play list today. I love it so much I wanted to document it in case I lose it. Be warned I like a wide variety of music and this doesn't even begin scratch the surface. Of course if it may inspire you as much as it does me (or you could hate it completely - just don't ride in my car because guess what we are going to listen to... )

Why Don't We Just Dance - Josh Turner
We Belong - Pat Benatar
Tell Me You Love Me - Leela James
Supermassive Black Hole - Muse
Short Skirt/Long Jacket - Cake
Shadows of the Night - Pat Benatar
Runaway - Bon Jovi
Only the Young - Journey
No You Girls - Franz Ferdinand
Me and Mrs. Jones - Michael Buble
Le Jazz Hot - Glee Cast Version (though Julie Andrews is still the best version)
King of the Beach - Wavves
Just Dance - Lady Gaga & Colby O'Donis
Invincible - Pat Benatar
I Do Not Hook Up - Kelly Clarkson
Human - The Killers
Honey, Honey - Mama Mia Soundtrack
Haven't Met You Yet - Michael Buble
Don't Stop Believin - Journey
Dog Days Are Over - Florence + The Machine
The Distance - Cake
Cooler Than Me - Mike Posner
Change - John Waite
Breakeven (Falling to Pieces) The Script
Better Together - Jack Johnson
Animal - Neon Trees
American Honey - Lady Antebellum

Hmmm, something is missing from this list. I think I had better scrounge up some Phoebe Snow to keep the groove going.

Political Angst

Dear Politicians Who Currently Control Everything,

As we head into mid-terms elects please note that my usually liberal self has been forced to the more conservative side due to your stupidity in voting in a Healthcare Reform that nobody bothered to read or analyze in order to understand how it would affect those of us who already pay the majority of the taxes in our country.

This week alone my family has been told by our employer that our insurance coverage will be changing and that we will be responsible for up to $6,800 per year increase for our insurance coverage due to the insurance industry dramatically raising rates as a result of “Heathcare Reform”. My neighbor, who is a self-employed insurance salesman, had his families catastrophic only coverage increase by $140 per month (starting this month) and another friend was just told by his employer that his monthly contribution toward for his families insurance is increasing from $154 per month to $366 per month starting in January.

Please tell me Politicians Who Currently Control Everything how Healthcare Reform has benefited my middle class family?

The only thing that has change for me is how I am voting this year.

The Evolution of a Bubble

Beeb has reached a new milestone. No she hasn't lost her first tooth yet (nor are any loose to her disappointment) but she has mastered how to blow a bubble.

I knew she was coming along when I caught her blowing bubbles in the bath:



And sure enough it was only a couple of days later when from the backseat of the car she started squealing with delight over her newest accomplishment.



She must have blown a few hundred bubbles that afternoon.