Christmas Re-cap

The days leading up to Christmas were so enjoyable. Last Sunday AH’s family had their big extended family annual Christmas dinner, program and white elephant gift exchange. I especially liked seeing cousins who we haven’t seen in a while and admiring their families and how they’ve grown.

Tuesday evening we went ice skating with the kids (see earlier post) which proved to be a very fun activity for us all.

On Wednesday evening I went to a production of Anne of Green Gables at our local playhouse. It was a musical and as delightful as could be. The music, actors, singing and set design were just spectacular and of course I adore the story. It was a really wonderful way to spend an evening.

On Thursday I took the kids to my mom’s for the day while AH stayed home to wrap up the installation of our entertainment built-ins (which never goes as smoothly as you hope). We enjoyed time with my brother, sister and one of my nieces. My mom made a wonderful lunch for us all and both the kids enjoyed playing/tormenting her little dog all day. Regretfully it was a short trip – I much prefer the longer ones that give more time for visiting and playing games.

Friday evening we went to AH’s parents for a big turkey dinner with all the trimmings. Following dinner each family provided a little entertainment by way of a skit, reading or activity. AH read the nativity while the children all dressed up accordingly and acting out their parts, and this was followed by the annual lighting of the Christmas tree (real candles) as we sang carols in English and German. This is always such a beautiful way to bring on the true Christmas spirit, singing beautiful hymns by candlelight.

Christmas came very early this morning. Mr. B was warned repeatedly last night that he was not to get up before 7am AND that he had to have his bed made and room cleaned before any presents were opened. At precisely 7am the squeals of delight poured into our bedroom as Mr. B saw what Santa had left for him. Beeb was much more restrained and I think still half asleep since Mr. B woke her up. The madness had officially begun and I reluctantly dragged myself out of bed and onto the couch.

The kids delighted in their gifts and AH’s parents and sister stopped by with more gifts for us and stayed through lunch. I was able to remove some of my most wanted items off my “materialistic list -->” – I am so happy for that list.

As the day went on AH went to work on our family room (new custom entertainment system went in a few days ago) and its long list of “must be done” before the carpet can be installed next month. I had woken up with a sore throat so I went back to bed after gifts were open but before the parents arrived. The kiddo’s played with their new gifts and in the afternoon I played with them. Beeb got a couple of beginning sewing kits so she decided to try sewing a “build-a-bear” that Grandma gave her. It took a little coaxing but she caught on and did a really good job. I followed up behind her and did another stitching over hers just to reinforce the seams.








Mr. B and AH worked for a bit building new Lego creations. Mr. B loves to get Lego’s and then have Dad put them together.




It’s always fun to see what gifts come from our Japanese relations each year. I rather like their “lego” variation that Beeb and I put together.



Beeb asked me to photograph her in her new PJ's and robe tonight just before bed:




At the end of the day I am thankful for those who’ve enriched our lives; our family and friends, acts of kindness from strangers, teachers and volunteers and all others who touch us so dearly. I am especially thankful for our health, as I’ve lost several friends recently, and appreciate the gift of life and being here to see my children grow. I am always thankful for our savior, Jesus Christ, and the significance of His life – the real reason we celebrate at this time of year and give honor to Him. Sometimes I sit and ponder what that means to “give honor to Him” – do you? It is a motivator for me to do a little better, try a little harder.

Merry Christmas to you all – may you invite His love into your hearts and know peace and comfort throughout the entire year.

Pre-Christmas Activities

A few days ago AH and I took the kids to our local upscale mall for their winter snowflake parade. I was a little reluctant since it started at 7pm and my kiddo's are usually in bed by 7:30pm but after seeing pictures that friends have posted of this event I thought it would be a fun way to celebrate the season and worth the late night.

I must have been at the wrong location despite following the directions posted on the mall website. The event we attended, with people lining both sides of the street, had no actual "parade" but instead some drummers on stands located throughout the crowd. They drummed while some music played - that was it. No princesses, no one marching down the street waiving to us, no candy being thrown to the kids - nothing. I felt stupid for dragging my very tired husband out of his warm house to stand shoulder to shoulder with strangers for a drummer and a few bubbles sprinkling down on us from the tops of the buildings.

The kids were crushed and I was irritated as we walked back to our car. It was on the way that I proposed to AH that we take the kids ice skating in the park. Thankfully AH agreed not to waste the trip and so we headed to the ice rink.









We had a lot of fun! The kiddo's struggled initially but got the hang of it and were able to skate for short distances without holding on to one of us or taking out all the other skaters. Beeb even announced that having mastered ice skating she is ready to take on snow skiing.

In a Moment Everything Can Change

Tonight started out rather rough. After struggling with Mr. B through part of his homework and then having both kids playing very loudly together, obviously hyper, and being too rough with each other (Beeb got hurt twice) I thought that the rest of the evening would have to be endured.

So I did what any mother of continuously squabbling kids would do - I snuck upstairs to work on cleaning out my craft room. Shortly after I started working Beeb came up to complain about her brother and his latest offense toward her. I had just found an ornament kit that we did for an Enrichment activity the previous week (there were extras so I took one home) and I asked Beeb if she wanted to make it. Together we worked on creating the ornament and it was fun. When we finished Beeb proudly hung it on the tree.



After hanging the ornament Beeb asked if we could make snowflakes. I can honestly say this is not a craft skill of mine, which I told Beeb, so she taught me how to make snowflakes. We each did our first one and then Mr. B came to see what we were up to and wanted to join in as well. The room was filled with the quietness of my two kids concentrating - folding and cutting paper and then excitedly showing me their creations. This quiet winter activity invited a sweet peaceful spirit into our home that only shortly before was filled with loud voices and the makings for a stressful evening.




As went to help get Mr. B ready for bed I entered his room and noticed a beautiful scene that served as a wonderful reminder of whom I am to be thankful to for the change in atmosphere in my home tonight.



I have been praying to find more meaningful activities to do with my children and while my prayer was answered tonight I forgot to give thanks until I saw that gentle reminder.



It softened my heart even more to see how my son had reverently arranged his dresser with deep honor and respect to those things which we hold dearest to our hearts. Mr. B (and Beeb) is working faithfully to finish the Book of Mormon before his 8th birthday. It is really hard right now but he has demonstrated a spirituality that I did not expect when we started. Just tonight as I read to him he would stop me to ask the meaning of a word he was not familiar with. This is tough stuff as 2nd Nephi references Isaiah and the language is very difficult to understand even for most adults. My heart is touched to see his love for the words of our Heavenly Father and an eagerness to choose the right.

The true spirit of Christmas filled my heart the evening and my gratitude to Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ is immense, even over powering - in the very best way.

When I Grow Up . . .

I have decided, 20 years after leaving high school, that I finally know what I want to be – I want to be Terry Gross. More specifically I want to interview all the diverse people that she does on her NPR radio show Fresh Air.

Yep, that’s it – that’s my dream job. I told AH tonight about my dream. He encouraged me to go back to school and study journalism (sarcasm) but that’s not really what is standing in my way. What I really need is for Terry Gross to quit so I can have her job and yet, somehow, I don’t think that is going to happen. Oh, and her cool voice – that would definitely help too.

Tonight Terry interviewed Dan Charnas about his new book “The Big Payback – A History of the Business of Hip Hop”, a completely fascinating interview.

About a week ago she interviewed New York Times Supreme Court correspondent Adam Liptak. It was a so captivating, informative and yet her style is easy to follow and her connection with her guests feels so relaxed - as if you are in the room with them overhearing a private conversation.

New Hobbies

The kiddos have each recently taken up a new hobby. Mr. B decided he needed to learn the board game Settlers of Catan and now pesters us non-stop to play. I will admit that he doesn’t do too bad and actually plays much faster than his Uncle’s (on AH’s side) which makes the game tolerable for me.

On Monday it was Mr. B’s turn to pick out the game for our Family Home Evening activity. Of course he chose Settlers of Catan which had us wondering what Beeb would do. I didn’t think the game would hold her attention, which was true, but in the process of keeping her entertained I introduced her to her newest hobby; styling my hair. She had fun, Mr. B had fun and I still won the game – fun for me (not so much for AH).

Fast forward to this morning when Mr. B presented our game Settlers of Zarahemla and requested we play it this evening. I was surprised that when this evening rolled around AH was a willing participant so we made Mr. B happy by playing. Shortly after the game started Beeb asked if she could style my hair again, explaining that she had quite the skills for styling. I relented and my poor scalp is still suffering – ouch! I hope she continues to hone those skills lest all my hair gets pulled out.

Beeb's pose for me:


The culprit:


The goofy bunch:


I continue to dominate the Settler's games but Mr. B did manage to tie with AH tonight. Not too shabby for a 7 year old.

TRON

When I was a little girl in elementary school my brother would sometimes take me to our neighborhood corner market, aptly named The Pink Store with it's pink exterior, to play video games. I remember watching him play Tron and wishing I could play it was well as he could.



When the original movie came out I thought it was amazing and watched it repeatedly. Bruce Boxlietner was at the height of his popularity with his role in Tron (1982) and then Scarecrow and Mrs. King (1983). (My mom thought he and Gil Gerard (Buck Rogers) were quite the hotties so we had to watch these shows each week.)

Today I got an invitation to the premiere of the new Tron. I invited AH to come along but now am wondering if that was the right decision. AH has not shown that he has the love of Tron necessary to appreciate or pick apart the new Tron since he hasn't seen the original movie (seriously neglected childhood). He has a week to brush up on his Tron trivia or suffer the wrath of his wife.

A Greater Love

This week my good friend had her much anticipated baby placed with her after the baby's birth a few days ago. The experience has brought back adoption memories of my own son and has me recognizing how each story is unique and special.

In my friends case I have been able to appreciate the adoption from a different perspective than my own experience. The birth mother selected my friend (and her family) very early on in her pregnancy. She also lives locally and the entire process has been very "open", meaning they have had regular contact with each other, know full names, and developed a friendship. Our adoption process was closed - no last names or other personal information was divulged, though we did exchange letters and pictures after placement through our caseworker.

During the months of her pregnancy birth mom (BM) and my friend got to know each other. My friend would invite BM to participate in their family activities and she grew to love this special BM. I know my friend has had the utmost concern for BM and has done everything she could to help ease the weight of this decision for her. Her love for this young woman is strong and sincere.

A few weeks ago I attended a baby shower for my friend. It was a beautiful evening and I was so thankful to have the opportunity to meet the BM and her mother who both attended. I'll admit it was a bit awkward at times. Not wanting to say anything inappropriate was at the forefront of my mind and yet there was a strong Spirit present there that evening.

That night I realized how I missed out on the experience of really getting to know our own birth parents. Our adoption happened so quickly that our only meeting with them lasted about an hour, during placement, and then they were gone. We never really got to know them at all. I'll admit I am a bit envious that my friend has had the opportunity to develop a loving relationship with her BM.

I also realized that though you can imagine how hard such a selfless sacrifice it is (making the best choice for your child and not an emotional choice for yourself), you can't fully comprehend it. Of course I tried to understand this sacrifice during our own adoption but sitting across from my friend's BM, with her protruding belly and that uncomfortable 8 months pregnant look on her face, I realized I had no comprehension at all. I cannot even begin to fathom the strength it takes, though a new understanding of it certainly hit me quite forcefully. My heart implored for her and I prayed that she would stay strong and know peace with her decision.

My friend's baby was born after a hard delivery for BM. There were a few extra days needed in the hospital for recovery. Each day there was an immense anticipation of placement only to have it delayed repeatedly as medical issues were addressed. When placement finally arrived my friend was very excited over being able to take the baby home and yet her heart yearned to comfort BM whom she could see was struggling.

I think it feels a bit odd – suddenly having a new baby without all the physical labor of it. In my experience once the birth parents left it was very quiet, very strange to have this baby that I did not carry or deliver suddenly in my arms . . . forever. AH and I were a bit dumbstruck as to what to do. I had so many questions: Is he really mine? Can I really take him home and I don’t have to give him back? Can I really love him without worry that he’ll be taken away? How is birth mom coping? Is she at peace with her decision? How come it feels a little like I’ve stolen someone’s baby and when will that feeling go away?

For me the adoption process focused so much on the birth parents (specifically BM) that nobody ever really explained how it would feel for the adoptive parents. I was completely unprepared for the emotional turmoil of it. I didn’t actually find complete solace until we received a letter from the birthparents some 5 months later. The letter gushed of the sweet pictures we’d sent, the cute outfits he wore, and the joy that they knew he was bringing us. It was only after this letter that I was fully able to, in my heart, mind and soul, know that he was mine. I didn’t realize until then that I had been holding back a bit emotionally until I got her approval and knew that she was truly okay with her decision and I didn’t have to worry about her anymore.

Adoption is a case of greater love and for that my family and that of my friend are truly blessed.

A Thanksgiving Tangle

Our Thanksgiving feast for 12 turned into a feast for 4 due to the inclement weather (snow) making it impossible for my family to travel. I decided to continue with the planned menu and set out snack foods mid-morning, served a full Thanksgiving meal (we have days and days of leftovers) at 3:30pm, and promptly went to sleep following dinner for three hours. Needless to say I was not going to go to bed early and took this as a sign that I should go out at 11:30pm and hit the "Black Friday" sales in our area.

I returned home at 6:30am pleased with my purchases, the deals offered and have nearly all our Christmas shopping completed. AH and I decided not to do gifts to each other since we are getting a new built-in entertainment system this month as well as carpeting (finally!) for the family room, stairs and misc other rooms that need it. I am so delighted to be completing this final big project that I may glow for months once it is done.

After being snowed in at home for days (cabin fever) I took the kids to see Tangled on Friday afternoon (after sleeping-in until 12pm) leaving AH in a quiet house for a few hours. As we arrived at the theater the line was very long. A little worried I talked with the kids about our alternative plan should the show be sold out. While waiting in line Mr. B was getting very anxious that we might not get in and so he turned away, folded his arms and said a prayer (so cute!). When he was done he turned back to me and said, "Mom, I said a prayer asking that we'll be able to get in." After paying for our tickets (and yes it was almost sold out) Mr. B delighted that his prayer was answered even though we had to sit one row back from the very front of the screen.

Frugality

AH is frugal, I am not. Merging our finances was quite the adjustment when we got married. One thing that I always love and appreciate about AH is his willingness to compromise. In a financial sense this meant that I tightened the belt and he let his out, I’ve watched my spending and he has been more willing to part with funds so long as we achieve our financial goals. These adjustments did not happen overnight.

Are we the most frugal family? Not even close. I still battle the urge to splurge and at times make purchases of non-essentials (way way non-essential) only later to have feelings of remorse when I get home and the occasional return of item(s). AH has usually been the rock of reason and, to the annoyance of the marketing industry, does not fall into the lavishly fancy marketing print, radio or TV ploys. A few years ago one luxury car manufacturer had a TV ad with the tag line of “Don’t you deserve it?” – AH’s reply was, “Yeah right, I deserve to have $60,000 in debt.”

However, we all have our Achilles heel; an area of weakness when it comes to needs vs. wants or desires. For AH that weakness has been the dream of owning a nice 4x4 truck. For 9 years he drove an older model Mazda pick-up that was gifted to him by his dad. It was a good little truck that met our needs without depleting our wallet. When the Mazda reach 19 years old and needed some repairs we decided it was time for AH to have a new vehicle. At the time gas was exceptionally high, trucks were not moving off dealer’s lots and amazing deals were to be had. AH made one of those amazing deals and his dream was realized. . . sort of.

As time went on AH had to leave his vanpool and I could hear the ache in his wallet every time he had to put gas into the truck. He would often come home lamenting about the cost of owning such a vehicle and yet loving it at the same time – the inner turmoil was fierce. Last weekend AH came out of his truck coma for good. He called me with the news of wanting to buy a Ford Fiesta – I was not pleased but I was open to the discussion. Unlike AH I don’t look at my vehicle as just a means of transportation, I actually do care about what I drive though I keep it within reason for AH’s sake (see there’s that compromise thing that we do).

AH worked up an elaborate two page spreadsheet comparing different vehicles to the truck. We were definitely looking for a more fuel efficient car, yet it had to roomy enough for our family and groceries, and it had to be relatively inexpensive. I had planned to make my next purchase a VW Jetta TDI. They get exceptional gas mileage (40+ mpg), are very roomy and are priced reasonably – but when we looked at the numbers the cost of the Jetta didn’t measure up. This resulted in more discussion, more spreadsheet comparisons and more stress for AH.

The other day I decided to be exceptionally mean to AH and I threw out the idea of a foreign Hybrid. I was teasing him because I know that AH would never buy an expensive Honda or Toyota (he likes to buy American “ad” cars). Never say “never”. AH did his research, compared costs and came back to me with the idea of buying a Toyota Prius. I fell out of my chair – okay, not literally but figuratively in my brain. This is so not typical of AH. He found a few used ones in our area and in our price and today after dropping the kiddo’s off at school we high tailed it to the dealership.

We went home with a new to us 2008 Prius.




We also went home with the knowledge that we will be saving $2000 per year in gas alone, as well as some additional savings as a result of this vehicle exchange.

AH is happy and his frugal soul is at peace once again. . .



I did catch him looking at used Ford Rangers on Craig’s list this evening.

Don't Mess With A 7 Year Old

Mr. B's behavior has been struggling this week due to the time change (less sleep - going to bed later and still getting up at usual time), a bad cold, and all the Halloween sugar in his system. During dinner he was repeatedly asked stop making a specific gross sound and when he failed to comply he received the consequence of losing computer play time for the evening. It wasn't well received. . . he had a complete meltdown that was a magnitude 9.0 (did you feel it?). The shear level of it told me he was due for an early bedtime to help him recuperate from the above listed items.

After getting him calmed down and settled into bed he and I enjoyed a long snuggle wherein he professed his love for his mother repeatedly (of course) and then rolled over and promptly went to sleep (poor guy!).

As usually AH checked in on the kiddo's just before he went off to bed. He reported to me that while he was adjusting Mr. B's covers he stirred a bit, looked at AH and called out "Liar!" before rolling back over and to sleep again.

I am glad to know who Mr. B associates his consequences with even when I am the one who issues them.

Oh Halloween, Oh Halloween . . . How I Hate All The Candy!

Well our neighborhood lived up (actually exceeded) our candy expectations for the year. As usual people who live in our small neighborhood stocked up on all the best goodies with the hope that a flood of kids would come through, and yet if things went like they did at our house they only had to get out of the recliner twice the entire evening.

Due to the low numbers each neighbor is thrilled when that door knock finally does come, and as they stare at the giant bowl of full sized candy bars and all the possible left overs they don't want to have they ultimately drown the poor kids in sugary sweetness solidified.

At one point in the 45 minute walk around the block Beeb begged to be done. Her candy bucket was too heavy and over flowing, causing her to stop repeatedly to pick up the candy that was falling out. I don't know why but I encouraged her to endure until we completed the loop and now I have to deal with the aftermath of not actually allowing her (or her brother) even a fraction of it and the temptation all that chocolate in the house presents to me (me = no willpower). Looking back now I see that I must have done it for the neighbors, they have come to rely upon our annual visit (obviously, why else would they buy 30 jumbo sized candy bars!).

Yep you're seeing correctly, we have a neighbor who actually gives out 8 packs of candy bars to each trick-or-treater. The kids insist on visiting their house every year above all other houses!








In the end AH (always the math geek when it comes to candy collecting economy) figured out that based on the number of full size candy bars alone, as compared to our friends who live in planned communities where mini sized candy is doled out sparingly and to ensure there is enough for the swarms who really do come to their doors, that it was the equivalent of going to 26 additional homes. Nice - all the fat with half the work!

Playing The Guilt Card

Tonight Beeb talked AH into letter her sleep in the guess bedroom. An hour after tucking her in it was very quiet - too quiet. Beeb is our little night owl and often stays up playing for an hour or more after we tuck her in. The lack of sound tonight had me hoping I would find her sleeping but instead I found her watching TV with the sound muted! Smart Beeb. :-)

As I turned off the TV and tucked her in again she said to me, "Are you sleeping in here tonight?"

I laughed and replied, "No. Do I need to?"

"I might turn the TV back on," she informed me.

Ah the perfect moment for a dramatic pause as I looked into her eyes.

"Can't I trust you?" I asked innocently.

"Ooohhh!" she said in defeat.



UPDATE: With the TV option removed this is how I found Beeb after she finally fell asleep. She had snuck out into the hall, grabbed the library book basket and read to her hearts delight.